Metal Chopsticks.

It’s not exactly a Korean meal without the deliciousness touching a little stainless steel. The evolution of the chopstick is here and now. Gone are the wasteful wooden or flimsy plastic sticks. We’re talking streamlined cutlery goodness: Chopsticks 2.0 for the masses.

For sure, it’s a curious conversation topic for some time now. But, truly, the history behind such a common eating utensil is actually pretty interesting. Enough to make a great lesson plan with some great facts at the end (take note of page three). In fact, it’s been rumored that former President 박정희 (Park Chung-Hee) is credited with introducing metal chopsticks to Korea.

I would venture to guess that many Westerners would never think twice about why the chopsticks are made of metal and why the type of rice eaten might determine the type of chopsticks used. For that matter, it’s a stretch for the common Westerner to know the difference between short and long grained rice. Myself included. But, it’s not so strange to think about the evolution of American utensils. The steak knife, anyone?

Another explanation is that before the modern stainless steel chopsticks were introduced, silver was used. According to myth, silver chopsticks would tarnish if poison was found in the King’s food. Therefore, it was not just economical but for safety sake. Leave it up to Koreans to think of a better way of testing of poisoned food. Didn’t the royal courts of the Dark Ages have royal food testers? What a crummy job to get off of Ye Olde Craigslist.

But what about the wee ones? Don’t they already have it rough enough? I mean it seems that all they hear is leave that alone, don’t pick that up, don’t put that in your mouth, and why is your face turning blue? but now we have to add to that equation the seemingly impossible of learning to use metal chopsticks, which if you haven’t used them, tend to be on the slippery side. But, like tiny masters of their craft, they get good real quick, or else that sweet sweet 김치 goes uneaten. A powerful motivator indeed.

Metal chopsticks are here to stay and they are awesome. Glad I’m not the only one whop thinks they are flippin sweet. They’re more economical, washable, designable, and elegant than their wooden brethren. I suppose plastic comes in at second place, but really? Who wants the silver medal when it comes to food?

Thoughts?

Business relationships.

You know the whole “It’s nothing personal – it’s just business” saying that we have in English?

Yeah, not true in Korea.

Cold calling? Door-to-door? Directory assistance? Are you kidding me? This is the land of social networks and personal relationships. Korea is a never-ending web of social connections. And you’re just trying to close a sale? Move along. Korea’s looking for a long-term business relationship. One that requires someone to navigate the and nurture the relationship from within Korea. A lifer.

Korea is a place of great economic clout. The little country that could is carrying a big stick and should not be overlooked or doubted. Like Taiwan and Singapore, Korea is one of the few Asian countries that came out strong after the 1997 IMF crisis. Nice job guys. Pat yourself on the back. And believe you me, Korea didn’t get to be such an economic bad mamma jamma without a little personal touch to business. So how does one get into the door of Korean business?

It’s all about who you know. If you went to elementary school with some mid-level business exec and twenty years later you want to try your sales pitch on him, you’re much more likely to get the account versus someone else with a little more to offer for a little less. Why wouldn’t the company just go with the most profitable service provider? Korean rule of thumb: Good relationships are good business and they supercede the bottom line. If nothing else, their business loyalty is impressive.

And to think I haven’t even got into the myriad that is contracts and Confucian history. In Korea, contracts are seen as starting points to negotiation and shouldn’t be taken in the same sense as Western contracts. Remember, in Korea, people are more important than what is written on a piece of paper. American dependence on written contracts and inflexibility is quite remarkable if looked at in this light. Korean negotiators historically have balked at Western reliance on paper contracts instead of verbal and non-verbal agreements. This translates to a Korean business pulling out of a sign, sealed deal moments before the deal was to be announced. Why shouldn’t they have the freedom to do so? Their intuition is more trustworthy than a piece of paper – regardless of what it represents. Such is business in Korea.

This “personal” approach to business has some baggage, no? It’s easy to see why the personal touch is frowned upon. Some foreigners are a bit candid in their observations and while I’m sure shady business relationships aren’t just exclusive to any one country – let alone Korea.

So take it from the Michael Scott school of business – keep it personal. If you get your foot in the door, dig in like a tick and be prepared to spend some after-hours with your new business partners. Because your relationship with them is the lifeblood of the deal, contract, and all other considerations. Think not of your life as a separation of business and personal – here they intermix like orange juice and toothpaste. Get used to it, partner.

Thoughts?

Saying hello.

Okay okay, everyone knows it by now. I’m about as country as they come. I open doors for women, I tip my hat to old people, and I say “howdy” to everyone I meet. Laugh it up and move on, city boy.

Where I come from, saying “hello” to everyone is considered normal, if not polite. If I’m in line at the grocery store and I see my friend and his family, it’s normal for him to say hello to me and then perhaps introduce my relationship to his family. “Hey Matthew. Good to see you. Dad, you remember Matthew? We went to junior high together. Don’t you remember? He was the one who cried in his sleep…you remember taking him back home during that sleepover in sixth grade? The one who was apologizing the whole way home?” Yeah. You know, totally normal stuff.

But why do we do greet each other so frequently? Granted it’s not everyone. It’s not happening in every city in the country but the act of introducing oneself when approached by a friend who is in the company of other friends is very common. I’m not sure even if we think about it. It just happens. I walk up, I say what’s up to my buddy and he tells me who his friends are. We shake hands or just say “what’s up” and we’re done.

But really? Why do we do that? As Americans, why do we say hello to people that we don’t know? We’re probably not going to see them again. Even the checkout counter people at Target ask us how we’re doing today. Like, why? Would it matter if I’m having a horrible day? Isn’t my “bad day” money just as welcome? What if we just stopped saying “hello” to random people? Imagine the marketing fallout…

If we were to follow this “not saying hello” thing, we’d be right at home in Korea. It’s not that people don’t say 안녕하세요 to each other but the context is a bit different. One doesn’t have to say hello to random people if the situation merits no conversation. If you sit down in a restaurant, you don’t have to say hello to the server. Quit being such a noob and just order. Doing otherwise at every single establishment would get tiring after a while, wouldn’t it? So try a little something different. When in Rome…

As we have looked at before, being introduced to another person in Korea can be a big deal. Introductions to a new person opens up a new web of social networking and it potentially requires more attention and work on your end. Another person, another responsibility. Sounds like a bit much just for running into someone at the store, doesn’t it? Therefore, stay out of it. Allow me to demonstrate.

Scenario: “A” knows “B” and sees “B” at the store with “C” whom “A” does not recognize. “A” says hello and “B” breaks away from the conversation with “C” to talk to “A” briefly. “C” stands there like an idiot. “B” doesn’t introduce “C” to “A” and eventually says goodbye to “A” and goes back to the conversation with “C”. “C” cries himself to sleep.

Obviously “C” is a overly sensitive foreigner who needs to grow a pair but you get the idea. But, even some foreigners are getting used to this lack of casual introductions, much to other foreigners’ dismay, of course. Again, I present the side that most foreigners are not acutely aware that they even naturally want to be introduced or self-introduce whenever possible. I will simply say that some foreigners are more pre-disposed to do this but certainly not foreigners are happy balls of social friendliness dying to talk to any and all people he/she meets at the supermarket. To make such a blanket statement does not apply.

In conclusion, it’s not that Korean people are more rude than other group of people (although some still question this) it’s just that Korean cultural expectations are different. That’s all. I personally believe that Koreans can be among the most generous and friendly people on the planet……that is, second only to Texans, of course.

So, I ask this. Do you find Korean people more willing to say hello in the country versus the city? Do you see no real difference between saying “hello” and saying “안녕하세요”? Have you experienced the whole “not-being-introduced” thing, too?

Thoughts?

Woah.

Did I just go there?

It’s true. I know it’s a sensitive subject. I may not be able to do this delicate matter complete justice but I do want to resume dialogue about this matter. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. However, like always, I pledge to be open-minded and sensitive. But, I will have to at least recognize some differences between American and Korean ideas of healthy body types. Please take this entry as my own opinion sprinkled with a generous serving of sarcasm. Eat up. It’s good for you.

It’s safe to conclude that neither country has a single, uniform opinion about what a healthy body looks like. For some, it’s being dangerous skinny enough to shop for summertime bikinis in the toddler section. For others, it’s all about how happy they are inside and has very little to do about their outward appearance. Healthiness and sexual attraction also don’t always line up equally. But, aren’t women naturally suppose to be more curvy? Wow, second paragraph and already I’m wincing. I’m getting uncomfortable just typing about this.

Matter of fact, let’s just go ahead and set the thermostat to “Chilly” cause it’s about to get cold up in here. I volunteer myself for this next example. I’m 6 feet (1.8 meters) tall and always a little short of 180 pounds (80 kilograms). For many, I’m considered to be fat among Koreans. Soak that up.

At my current body type, I’m by no means scrawny. By the same token, no one would consider me obese. However, by and large, in America it’s not crazy to consider my body type to be quite normal (if not skinny). Now, on the lifestyle side of things, I would consider myself on the healthy end of the spectrum. I was a vegetarian for years, I’ve never smoked, I jog regularly, I eat lightly and frequently, I avoid soft drinks and candy, and I drink a crazy amount of water everyday. However, apparently I’m some gargantuan foreigner with an insatiable hunger. Feed me Seymour Korea.

My first encounter with my own personal grossness of a body occurred just a few years ago. When I met my first Korean language tutor, after a few meetings, she and I ate lunch together at the university sandwich shop. While waiting in line and deciding which sandwich to order, she turned to me and remarked “Are you sure you’re hungry? You look like you’re already full.” At which point she poked my stomach. At least I have a nice personality, right? Thanks 누나.

Culture shock, anyone?

For Koreans, first of all, fatness is not a taboo subject like it is America. It gave my tutor no pause to talk about my stomach. We weren’t even very close at the time – Hell, I had practically just met her. Was my stomach really that huge? Was it the age difference? Was it just her?

Nope. I’m just a monster. Apparently my beer gut is the stuff of legends. What is a “M” waist size in America is an astronomical “XL” here in Korea. “M” no longer stands for Medium….more like Monster. Another horror story comes from my encounter at a top-notch Korean resort. While searching for a few chairs to steal for the my group’s table, a small group of high school girls stopped to stare and remark about my body. They laughed, pointed, and talked about my gut. I believe the word “pregnant” was used. Now, at the time, my Korean was not perfect (will it ever be?) but it was good enough to understand the general point of what they were saying (let alone the body language, right?). But, I should be fair in saying that I was the only visible foreigner at the resort on that day. I’m sure that played a role…but then again, maybe my Robin Williams-like forest of chest hair scared them…

Moving on.

But it’s one thing to be skinny and another thing to be healthy. They don’t always mean the same thing. Being skinny does not make one healthy and being healthy does not make one skinny. If someone is genuinely overweight, it’s also fair to say that they might feel a little sensitive about their weight. It’s a valid struggle to maintain a healthy lifestyle whilst still maintaining a lifestyle that fits everyone’s tastes. In my case, my answer is to avoid Western food and eat Korean food – it’s delicious, healthy, and good for you. But not everyone digs on soybeans, tofu, fish, and levels of spice that are only rivaled in deepest depths of Hell. I respect that.

But in Korea, there are lots of skinny people running around. Really, there are.  Seriously, look at this chart. According to the data, two out of three people in the United States are considered to be overweight or obese. Good job, everyone.

Finally some data so you can justifiably hate on them scrawny girls in 신촌… Just makes you want to eat a double cheeseburger and glower, doesn’t it? Coming from America, I’d just assume be pushing the scales like the rest of my countrymen. Maybe that’s why I don’t particularly notice other Americans who are overweight. To me, it’s just one aspect of a person and not that big of deal. But looking at the data on the chart, I can see why Koreans might be acutely sensitive to people who are overweight – foreign or otherwise.

This discussion requires a deep understanding of the sociological and cultural pressures that Koreans are subjected to, and I’ll go ahead and not volunteer myself for that. When backed into a corner, I refer to the smartest Kiwi I know. In absence of greatness, I concede that Korea has obvious cultural pressures to be anything but overweight. It can’t just be the natural diet of the people; while Korean food does, in my opinion, tend to be closer on the healthy side, we’re still talking about a land filled with enough Dunkin Donuts, 삼겹살, and 우동 to adequately fill the gullets of the masses to unhealthy proportions. So, something else must be going on. Will we ever know for sure know what makes Koreans so paper thin? Social Pressure? Good genes? 김치?

As I’m sure most of you can guess, I’m confident and happy with my own body type. Sure, I don’t look like Brad Pitt but honestly I’m not worried about it. To me, there’s more to life than being thin (or being among socially acceptable levels of “skinny”). After all, if I had a chance to either lift weights or spend time with my family, I’ll pick the latter any day of the week. But, like all things, it’s all about balance, isn’t? For me, the balance comes from being active, eating right, watching my sugar intake, jogging, and having a healthy and accurate self-image. By no means do I see myself as overweight. I urge those who do place external pressure on people who are a few sizes short of a “zero” to examine why they do so. Whose needs are trying to be met? Does such pressure really do anything other than make the other person uncomfortable?

Rant over.

Thoughts?

Tipping and VAT (부가세).

In America, it’s what we do. We tip. It’s a short discussion at the end of a meal, but just like the credits at the end of movie, who really sticks around and pays attention? Leave the tip and be on your way. Who cares? Answer: anyone who’s waited tables before. The tip makes or breaks a server’s day. A generous tip will make your shift 20x more tolerable and a dinky tip will leave you wondering why you even try to be nice let alone flirt with that girl who was clearly not your type.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah the analogy. So, if we follow the movie theater comparison, then Koreans hit the road as soon as the guy gets the girl and doesn’t so much as stick around to see who directed the flick. In short, tipping in Korea is MIA. So what about America? What’s normal?

Forget the old 10%. That’s cheap. 15% is what I’d consider leaving for a grouchy-pants-McGee server. No, in America it’s hard to argue against leaving at least a 20% tip. It’s the right thing to do. Don’t think of it as extra – realize this “extra” cost before you buy the service or product because to leave anything less is just rude in my book. If you can’t afford to leave a decent tip, buy something cheaper. It’s the unspoken rule – tip. But, who and when does one tip? Thankfully, there are even specific situations where a tip is explicitly advised so as to not have any confusion as to how much and when to tip.

But, dear readers, I’m here to tell you shocking news about tipping in Korea.

*gasp* tipping in Korea does indeed exist. In a way. I know everyone says that Korea is a no-tip country but there are, in fact, some instances where tipping is appreciated – dare I say expected? For example, exceptional service merits a generous tip when the employee has gone above and beyond his or her job description.

But what about this whole VAT business? It’s already in the cost of the product. If it’s a Korean product, it’s usually 10% tacked on at the end of the bill. This VAT acts as a safety net and face saver. Fear not about tipping in these situations because the staff is already getting a cut from that tax. So in a way, you did tip them. But, times are a changing. Consider this the next time you’re in a place where tipping would be appreciated. Keeping in mind that sometimes tipping is not only a little weird but rude. It’s a tricky balance – and one that I have yet to strike.

So in conclusion, if you’re going to tip and it’s appropriate to do so, regardless of what country you’re in, don’t be stingy. Tip and tip well. Did you have a good experience? Was the server nice? Did you get your food in a timely manner? If not, did the server try his best? If so, tip generously. Altruism is good thing, you know? I mean, what’s two or three extra dollars to you? To the server, that’s lifeblood. If everyone tipped just a buck or two more, maybe the server wouldn’t have to work doubles and thus, be in a better mood when serving you and thus making you tip him or her more. Karma works both ways you know.

Thoughts?