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An idiot’s guide to Korean fashion – p.2

Korean fashion.

Part Two of Two. Part One can be found here.

I present what’s happening in the world of female fashion according to a man with no fashion sense. Remember that this covers mostly the young women and not the older women who are long-deserving of a post of their own. In the meantime, here is a selected representation of the pleasantly attractive but curiously strange world of Korean women fashion.

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– Skinny <everything> –

As touched upon in the infamous “fat” post, Korea is hurtin for a good ol’ American steak. We gots lot of skinny girls in desperate need of some meat. Haven’t they ever had an enchilada or two? If skinny is the new black then this place is straight-up darkness. Sneeze hard enough and one of the college girls on the subway might fall over from the force. Please go back for seconds, Korean women. You look nice but at what cost?
– Short Skirts –

This weather-be-damned article of clothing will be worn no matter the temperature. Despite the skinny leg eye candy that short skirts merit, it does make me want to buy them all a blanket. Something about the sea of short skirts in Korea makes me question the whole ‘conservative society’ image of Korea. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

– Leggings –

Call them stockings, panty hose or leggings but either way they cover a woman’s legs and they are everywhere. Something about legs that becomes the focus of Korean fashion. Perhaps it’s due the vast ocean of chopstick-looking legs that is found in Seoul. These chopstick wielding young women have money so the clothes manufacturers match the demographic. Enter: leggings for the masses.

– Black –

Leave it to Korean women to find twelve shades of black to wear on any occasion. So much black it’s evil. Again with the demographics, Asian skin tones against black are understandably more complementary than a typical (if such a thing exists) Western woman’s skin tones. Therefore, black is the new…black? No that’s no good. Come on Matthew…something creative. How can I make fun without being insulting….how about a song reference. Hopefully the younger generation will catch it, too. ♫ I see Korean girls and I want them to wear black ♫

– Fabric –

Ever see that space-age golf fabric that dries quickly in the wind and prevents sweat stains? That’s pretty common for summer clothes here. It’s all scrunchy looking and feels funny. Matter of fact, a lot of the clothes in the summer are very thin. All it takes to understand this is one, balls-hot Korean summer and you will suffocate in your hefty 100% cotton undershirt. I’ll wear a scrunchy shirt any day of a Korean summer.
– Little Dogs –

More like an accessory than a real animal, these yipping dogs are 100% worthless. I’m not a dog hater by any means but a dog is measured by it’s ability to function like a civilized animal. My measurement is simple: any dog that can’t stand still and bark without falling backwards is worthless. Nothing screams “I’m a real catch!” better than a single woman walking a dog the size of a peanut. If a thief broke into your apartment you would rather have a real dog protect you instead of an over-grown rat have a seizure and choke on its own tiny rage. Stop the madness and get a real dog.

– High Heels –

Doesn’t matter if you’re just going up the street to buy some milk or you’re going to class, you’re probably wearing heels. What is the deal with heels? Why on earth would you go hiking in those, young madam? Really? You’re wearing heels to go up a hill? The goofy thing is that when I ask if someone’s feet hurt, they confidently reply “No, these are actually not that bad”. Perhaps they never heard of sneakers.

– Layers –

Being skinny has perks, you know. You can pile on the layers of scrawny slips of fabric without looking like a balloon. Sometimes I wonder if some girl really knew how well her ensemble looks and if she planned it that way or just threw it all together. My intuition tells me that when a young woman shops, she recalls what is in her closet and tries to buy things to match them for different ensembles. Nothing wrong with that. Like the zipper-tie in the last post, I have nothing against this. Thumbs up for looking sharp.

– – – – – –

When it’s all said and done, Korea is just comparison after comparison for me. Not quite as progressive and out-there as Japan and not exactly as chic as France but certainly more everyday fashionable than America. Ever heard of the phrase “All dressed up and nowhere to go”? That’s what comes to mind. I can’t help but wonder where all these dolled up women are going to. And then I realize the answer: Nowhere.