timandyou wrote:Hello mailing8514,
This is Tim from KC101.com.
Tim, many thanks for replying my post.
First, I must say "congratulation" for visiting Korea to meet her parents. "How exciting it is!"
I do think she really loves you and sees her future with you. I hope for the best with you and her.
Thank you. For what I have read it seems that it is not the something that it is done for every single boyfriend or girlfriend, and I do realise that it is something really important for her. I was really worried to cause her any embarrasement or to do anything that might be incorrect. I read about Korean mothers-in-law and some of the people posting seemed like a horror history.
I am really aware that family is very important in Korea, and that if you marry a Korean you are in part marrying the whole family.
So I want everything to be as perfect as possible, because I do not have a second chance on making a first impression.
Second, you need to know her parents first.
Ask her about her parents what they like... who they are... and bring presents accordingly to your search.
For example, if they (her parents) are Christian, bringing some liquor wouldn't be a good idea (since they don't enjoy drinking).
Do you see my point?
I got in touch with someone from my hometown that it is actually married to a Korean girl and he mentioned something similar. My girlfriend was (and still is) worried about me dressing accordingly, as I have been blessed with huge amounts of taste in dressing... lots of taste, it just happens to be bad taste.
I was told by him that his parents-in-law are farmers, and therefore it is the same as in every culture, the expectations are different. I know that the father is a high school teacher.
The best present is you, yourself. Go there and have a good time with her family.
I think... if you bring small gifts that present the nation of Spain, your nation, it would be prefect!
I have ended up buying mostly food and drinks that are Spanish and related to the Christmas season. For what my girlfriend told me they are not really expecting anything, and I think that it will be a safe bet, and also that everyone will be able to share. I am planning to go again in February or March, and i think that by then I should know them a bit better and it will be easier.
Third, you need to talk to your girl friend and ask her who they are... being conservative, being opened, their belief, and many more....
After knowing those and having some thoughts of who they are, you can communicate with them better.
I think that the father is conservative and the mother is more open. I have spent time reading about Korean culture and history (and procrastrinating from actually stuyding the language), keeping up to date with current affairs and I actually joined this site to learn the language. I made the first lessons very quickly and then I thought that I should learn hangul first, so it would make my learning more proper. Sadly I am still a long way from being able to do more than introduce myself and ask about what movie to see. O:) But as you say, it is me being presented, and I am making an effort that she has recognised and that I hope will also show her parents that I am very serious.
Last, just be yourself. Just be manner-ful and respectable to them.
And show them how much you care for her (their daughter). I think that's all they want to see and feel from you.
I will try my best.
Why don't you learn some Korean as well!?? Some very basic expressions such as "thanks", "hello", "this is delicious", "I love her", "thank parents" and some more... That will definitely make them to be impressed...
I nearly know how to say all of those things, but rather than "I love her" I know how to say "I love you".
There is a big Korean community in London (I live nearby) and I have found that there is a cultural association where I can go for lessons. So I am going to try to find out when I am back from Korea, and try to supplement the lessons I take here with some interaction with Korean speakers.
Here is my golden question for you - "do you love her?"
Very much. She really means a lot to me, and the only reason I am going to Korea (at this time, I would have gone someday, too).
) She told me to make a list of things to see and do in Korea, but I have been paying more attention to what I have to bring with me and reading about what I should expect and behave than planning any tourist visit. O:)
Let me know how things would go...
I will let you know. I am arriving this Saturday and I should meet them at some point the week after. Not sure that I will be online much, tough.
I am Tim. What's yours?
저는 다비드 입니다.
(David is pronounced like that in Spanish)
Thank you for your reply and advice. I really appreciate it a lot.