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Meeting my parent's girlfriend for the first time

mailing8514
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Meeting my parent's girlfriend for the first time

Postby mailing8514 » November 26th, 2010 8:00 pm

Hello,

I am going to Korea in a little bit more than a week (for the first time). My girlfriend wants to introduce me to her family in a formal manner, and I have been reading and asking around, as I know that it is very important for her (and me!) that I do not make any major mistakes.

I do believe that I need to bring something and so far I have some traditional Christmas food from Spain and some liquor, but I am not sure what is the customary or if I am assuming too much or getting all worked up about nothing.

Is there something that I need to know or that it is really important to do in such occassions. I mean, apart of what is expected in any Western culture. :)))

Many thanks in advance.

Regards,
david

timandyou
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Hello mailing8514,

Postby timandyou » November 29th, 2010 2:03 am

Hello mailing8514,
This is Tim from KC101.com.
First, I must say "congratulation" for visiting Korea to meet her parents. "How exciting it is!"
I do think she really loves you and sees her future with you. I hope for the best with you and her.

Second, you need to know her parents first.
Ask her about her parents what they like... who they are... and bring presents accordingly to your search.
For example, if they (her parents) are Christian, bringing some liquor wouldn't be a good idea (since they don't enjoy drinking).
Do you see my point?
The best present is you, yourself. Go there and have a good time with her family.
I think... if you bring small gifts that present the nation of Spain, your nation, it would be prefect!

Third, you need to talk to your girl friend and ask her who they are... being conservative, being opened, their belief, and many more....
After knowing those and having some thoughts of who they are, you can communicate with them better.

Last, just be yourself. Just be manner-ful and respectable to them.
And show them how much you care for her (their daughter). I think that's all they want to see and feel from you.
Why don't you learn some Korean as well!?? Some very basic expressions such as "thanks", "hello", "this is delicious", "I love her", "thank parents" and some more... That will definitely make them to be impressed...

Here is my golden question for you - "do you love her?"

Let me know how things would go...
I am Tim. What's yours?
Hope for the best,
Tim 8)

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manyakumi
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Postby manyakumi » November 29th, 2010 3:35 am

I was like... "Huh??" when I saw the title.

Meeting my PARENT'S GIRLFRIEND for the first time


Soon I realized it was 'girlfriend's parents'. lol


Hello, David.
Nice to meet you here.
And I wish you to give a great impression to your GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS.

;-)



Sean.

julialim
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Postby julialim » November 29th, 2010 6:24 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
I don't even recognize "PARENT'S GIRLFRIEND" haha!!


Anyway,
Hi David!
Congratulation!!:wink:

I recommend you one thing, which is "Eat with relish" "specially Enjoy GF mom's food" even though food is not delicious. Don't be picky.
I am sure that you are not. lol
Korean parents prefer a man who looks generous and has a nice personality.
Like Tim said, you'd better learn Korean. then it will show them how much you work on the relationship.

I am so happy for you guys couple.
Good luck for you. :wink: :wink: :wink:

mailing8514
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Re: Hello mailing8514,

Postby mailing8514 » November 29th, 2010 8:25 pm

timandyou wrote:Hello mailing8514,
This is Tim from KC101.com.


Tim, many thanks for replying my post. :)

First, I must say "congratulation" for visiting Korea to meet her parents. "How exciting it is!"
I do think she really loves you and sees her future with you. I hope for the best with you and her.


Thank you. For what I have read it seems that it is not the something that it is done for every single boyfriend or girlfriend, and I do realise that it is something really important for her. I was really worried to cause her any embarrasement or to do anything that might be incorrect. I read about Korean mothers-in-law and some of the people posting seemed like a horror history. ;)

I am really aware that family is very important in Korea, and that if you marry a Korean you are in part marrying the whole family. :) So I want everything to be as perfect as possible, because I do not have a second chance on making a first impression.

Second, you need to know her parents first.
Ask her about her parents what they like... who they are... and bring presents accordingly to your search.
For example, if they (her parents) are Christian, bringing some liquor wouldn't be a good idea (since they don't enjoy drinking).
Do you see my point?


I got in touch with someone from my hometown that it is actually married to a Korean girl and he mentioned something similar. My girlfriend was (and still is) worried about me dressing accordingly, as I have been blessed with huge amounts of taste in dressing... lots of taste, it just happens to be bad taste. :)

I was told by him that his parents-in-law are farmers, and therefore it is the same as in every culture, the expectations are different. I know that the father is a high school teacher.

The best present is you, yourself. Go there and have a good time with her family.
I think... if you bring small gifts that present the nation of Spain, your nation, it would be prefect!


I have ended up buying mostly food and drinks that are Spanish and related to the Christmas season. For what my girlfriend told me they are not really expecting anything, and I think that it will be a safe bet, and also that everyone will be able to share. I am planning to go again in February or March, and i think that by then I should know them a bit better and it will be easier.

Third, you need to talk to your girl friend and ask her who they are... being conservative, being opened, their belief, and many more....
After knowing those and having some thoughts of who they are, you can communicate with them better.


I think that the father is conservative and the mother is more open. I have spent time reading about Korean culture and history (and procrastrinating from actually stuyding the language), keeping up to date with current affairs and I actually joined this site to learn the language. I made the first lessons very quickly and then I thought that I should learn hangul first, so it would make my learning more proper. Sadly I am still a long way from being able to do more than introduce myself and ask about what movie to see. O:) But as you say, it is me being presented, and I am making an effort that she has recognised and that I hope will also show her parents that I am very serious.

Last, just be yourself. Just be manner-ful and respectable to them.
And show them how much you care for her (their daughter). I think that's all they want to see and feel from you.


I will try my best. :)

Why don't you learn some Korean as well!?? Some very basic expressions such as "thanks", "hello", "this is delicious", "I love her", "thank parents" and some more... That will definitely make them to be impressed...


I nearly know how to say all of those things, but rather than "I love her" I know how to say "I love you". :)

There is a big Korean community in London (I live nearby) and I have found that there is a cultural association where I can go for lessons. So I am going to try to find out when I am back from Korea, and try to supplement the lessons I take here with some interaction with Korean speakers.

Here is my golden question for you - "do you love her?"


Very much. She really means a lot to me, and the only reason I am going to Korea (at this time, I would have gone someday, too). :)) She told me to make a list of things to see and do in Korea, but I have been paying more attention to what I have to bring with me and reading about what I should expect and behave than planning any tourist visit. O:)

Let me know how things would go...


I will let you know. I am arriving this Saturday and I should meet them at some point the week after. Not sure that I will be online much, tough. :)

I am Tim. What's yours?


저는 다비드 입니다.

(David is pronounced like that in Spanish)

Thank you for your reply and advice. I really appreciate it a lot.

Best regards,
david

mailing8514
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Postby mailing8514 » November 29th, 2010 8:27 pm

manyakumi wrote:I was like... "Huh??" when I saw the title.


I am good at those things... as long as I do not do it in front of them!!!

Meeting my PARENT'S GIRLFRIEND for the first time

Soon I realized it was 'girlfriend's parents'. lol


Thank you, Sean. I will try my best. :)

mailing8514
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Postby mailing8514 » November 29th, 2010 8:49 pm

julialim wrote::lol: :lol: :lol:
I don't even recognize "PARENT'S GIRLFRIEND" haha!!


A man makes a mistake and he is forever remembered for it. :)

Anyway,
Hi David!
Congratulation!!:wink:


Thank you! :)

I recommend you one thing, which is "Eat with relish" "specially Enjoy GF mom's food" even though food is not delicious. Don't be picky.
I am sure that you are not. lol


How did you know? :oops:

현선 has said that it is something really good, because she does not like not being able to finish the food, so I can act as the vacuum cleaner at the end of the meal. javascript:emoticon:roll: Thankfully I do not gain weight (and Korean food is 맛있어요). :D

Korean parents prefer a man who looks generous and has a nice personality.
Like Tim said, you'd better learn Korean. then it will show them how much you work on the relationship.


I hope that they see in me what my girlfriend has seen in me, although I think that I am very lucky indeed. :) And I am trying to learn the language, it is just that I am slow. But I will get there eventually, hopefully. I think that her friends are worried to meet me because they do not speak English or feel comfortable talking in English, so I have to make the effort.

I am so happy for you guys couple.
Good luck for you. :wink: :wink: :wink: :)


Thank you so much. :)

I am very grateful for your reply. I feel more confident. :)

Best regards,
david

timandyou
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Hello David,

Postby timandyou » November 30th, 2010 12:55 am

I do think you will have a great time with her family~~!
Just have a safe trip and enjoy your time in Korea with her.
best,
(I'd especially pray for you and your girlfriend).

-Tim 8)

mailing8514
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Postby mailing8514 » December 14th, 2010 11:45 am

Tim (and all),

It went really well, the family were quite helpful and very very very kind with me. I took the opportunity to buy books and learning materials when in Korea, and I realised that I have to make a bigger effort. But all in all they were very pleased with the presents. The only niece / grandaughter was a bit distrustful at the beginning but I had already planned for that and had brought her a soft toy.

The last day I cook for them and it was really sweet to her them talking to the niece about uncle David. :) Although I have to say that they put some pressure on my girlfriend to help me in the kitchen. :DDD

But it was really really nice. I quite sad that I am already back, but I am planning to go again next year. Maybe with a bit more of time it would be nice to meet you in person.

I am still sorting all the pictures and trying to write down a summary of all the places we were. :)

Thank you for all your help, guys. It was really really really helpful and I appreciated it very much.

Regards,
david


PS: As something really strange and funny annecdote, the only time that I went out on my own there were a bunch of primary school children crossing the pavement and let them pass in front of me. One of the girls looked at me and laughed... then two more boys further than the queue saw me and started laughing. And then they kept looking back and laughing. :) It was really weird but funny. In one of the palaces there were a bunch of 10 year old girls in a school visit that asked my girlfriend if they could have a picture with me. It was a new experience, so I asked to have the same picture taking with my camera, but by the time she got it most of them had scattered. :DDD I had a really great time and can't wait to go again.

manyakumi
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Postby manyakumi » December 14th, 2010 1:38 pm

Hi, David.
Glad to see you again. :-)
And it's really great to know that you had a wonderful time here.
Please come again someday and tell us the further story you will go through.
;-)


Sean

timandyou
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Hello David,

Postby timandyou » December 15th, 2010 1:33 am

:P :P :P
Hello David,
What you just wrote above made my day! "I am so~~ extremely happy to hear that from you!"
See... I knew that you'd have nothing to worry about! All the efforts you did for them is very worthwhile; what's more, they (her family) had a good time with you as well. So... you cooked for them!?? haha~~^^ What did you cook for them? Was it 김치찌개 "Kimchi hot pot"??
David, I am very proud of you! You did great with them, more than great!
"Merry Christmas, David~~^^"
best,
Tim 8)

mailing8514
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The story continued

Postby mailing8514 » November 15th, 2011 8:23 pm

Hello,

It has been some time since I first posted that message and I wanted to give you guys a short update.

I came back from Korea and found someone to do language swap with, so I have not been around this site that often. O:) I went again to Korea in May of this year and I stayed about the same amount of time, but by then my girlfriend was already working so we not as much time as we wanted. But it was not too bad, because I proposed to her and we got engaged.

I am going again to Korea next month to get married. :DD

I thought that I should share the news.

PS: Sadly my Korean has not improved much, but I will have no excuse once she comes back. :)

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